I had a lot of old drafts that I for various reasons never actually published. Some of them probably because they were shit. Some of them just cause I never got round to editing them. I’ve picked a few that I thought had some merit. They are hopelessly out-of-date but they still made chuckle/think. Enjoy.

Should have been published: 2019

Can you pet the dog? a recent Twitter account started asking games and games developers. In a similar vein I want to ask: Can you sit down?

Doom (2016): Nope. No, you cannot sit down.

Games are about doing. Unless you are sitting in a cockpit or a driver’s seat, doing tends to require standing and moving. The originator of “Can you pet the dog?” asks for a broader range of gameplay verbs, ways to interact with the world, things to do. Actions that are not means to an end – shooting in order to kill, driving to get to the goal, talking to get answers – but just pleasing in and of themselves. Sitting down is similar but also different. It’s not really about gameplay verbs in a traditional sense.

Stardew Valley (2016): No. You can purchase and place chairs and benches but you cannot sit down.

Sitting down is more conducive to being than doing. “Being in the moment” is a cliché and tends to be about being present with what you are currently doing. In mindfulness and other meditation traditions “just being” translates to not doing anything and focusing your awareness on either internal or external stimuli. The sound of traffic. The feeling in your stomach. Your breath. The way the waves are animated in Sea of Thieves. Hearing every individual syllable in an NPCs barks.

Hitman (2016): Yes. You can sit down on benches in order to blend in.

Focusing your awareness is not the same as thinking about something. When you’re thinking about something you are considering worth, importance, ways to use, how to avoid, how to achieve etc. Imagine you have just added The Best Loot to your inventory. You are appraising it for it’s artwork, for it’s stats, and for the way you acquired it. In your mind you are adding to it’s value all the enemies you slew to get your mitts on it, and all the enemies you will slay with it. And taking time out to admire and appraise is great. Being aware is not that, it’s the boring part you get if you somehow manage to filter out all that and just notice what you’re looking at without judgment: A sword, a gun, colours, light.

Skyrim (2011): Yes. Chairs and benches allow for sitting.